dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
