how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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