As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
