Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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