Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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