I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
