I wannas sexs uuuuu
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
