whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
