Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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