one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
