The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
