happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
