i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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