Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
