so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
