Whod you bang
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
what day is it and did you see me today?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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