To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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