her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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