Will you blow on my dice?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
