Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
