The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
