some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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