That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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