You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
