Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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