Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
