Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
