are you still at the devil's house?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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