girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
