She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
