After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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