used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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