saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This is my gift to your gina
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
