why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
