Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
where does the pee come out of this thing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
