ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
