Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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