At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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