I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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