You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
In America we eat man semen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
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