I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
