i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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