Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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