I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
