Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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