i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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