I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
