Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
