Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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