Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
