they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
