Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
