Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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