So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My ass is underappreciated
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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