Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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