Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
